Die with a T

Bah! Had a horrible day today. There's always one day each month that I could eat 15,000 calories and still be hungry most of the day. What is that? At any rate, today must have been the day. And so I had my little 300 calories meals, but had to start early so ended up by 2:00 pm I had no meals left except dinner and so I had to be hungry all afternoon.

Once dinner rolled up, I decided I wanted specifically a chicken skewer on a greek salad. I drove WAY out of my way to get to Opa! and then realized I had left my bank cards in the other truck. By then I was really, really hungry. I thought I was going to cry. Now don't get on me about the starving orphans, and how I don't really know what hungry means... I know all that. What I do think is that it is a basic human right to eat when we are hungry, no matter where we live. Yes, in North America we've taken it to the whole other extreme, but when I diet I'm doing the opposite.

And to have to go hungry for hours and hours so I can lose weight, so I can get weight loss surgery, so I can be healthier... it's all frustrating and sometimes unbareable. Today made me want to quit this diet. Today makes me want to eat whatever I want, whenever I want and who cares if I die at 40 and 400 lbs. Then I don't have to be hungry. I'm not an anorexic, but that's what I have to act like to be "healthy". It's stupid. Incredibly stupid.

And if one more person tells me that "nothing feels as good as thin feels", I swear, I'm going to run them over with my truck. Then we'll see how thin you are and how good you feel.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!