Starting to go down....

Well, I lost 5 lbs last week. And I was starving the whole time. Literally. Just as hungry every day as I was on any diet before the band. I'm annoyed to say the least. I'm on 1300 calories per day (as per surgeon) and I'm so hungry my stomach hurts. I'm gassy and crampy often. So I don't know about this... why did I go through this surgery to do all this to have absolutely NO DIFFERENCE?

I'm sure it's just that the band isn't tight enough. But really? Do I have to be starving? I've actually stayed hungry through eating and past it for another 2 hours. WTF? How is that even possible? i.e. I have breakfast: a poached egg (70 cals), 1 piece of rye bread (70 cals), 1 tsp butter (36 cals). 2 hours later I'm famished. So hungry I feel like I could have a huge turkey dinner and still be hungry. So I have my snack: 1 yogurt cup (90) with a peeled and cored granny smith apple (75). As I eat it I'm hungry. When I finish I'm hungry. I continue to get hungrier until lunch. By then I almost want to cry because I'm so hungry my stomach is tensing up.

I've been doing a little reading. A few people have noted something that sounds a little similar, but not so severe. It feels like I have no band at all except, when I get too hungry and try to eat, things are more likely to get stuck because I'm so upset and tense from being hungry for 4 hours (while having eaten once in that time already). What I eat makes little difference, except a few things will let me stop feeling hungry for 1.5 hours at a time. But by the time I get to eat in 2 hours I'm hungry... again!

I don't want to turn anyone off this 'tool'. I just want to be completely honest about it. I haven't seen my dietitian in months. Not until March 16th, so I don't know what to do about it except try to stick it out.

What I'm really worried about is that they're going to say I'm 'doing great' and my band must be perfect, so they'll want to leave me like this until my weight is all gone. ......... JUST KILL ME KNOW OKAY? I pray it's just that my band isn't really tight enough to help with a 1300 calories per day diet. My dietitian once told me 'don't worry, I'd never put you on any less than 1000 calories per day'. With the band working the way it is now (I'm sorry, is it working? Correctly?), I'd cry all day on only 1000 calories.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Please post!!!

I'm still here!! LOL!

Thank you posters, I have been so busy working I haven't posted. Computer troubles haven't helped! I'm still here, I'm not losing much weight yet either. I lost a quick 20lbs from the surgery and pretty much nothing since then. So my third fill was this last Tuesday. And my scale at home said I was down 6 lbs and the scale at the clinic said I was up 2 lbs. Grrrr. Time to get a new scale at home I think.

I have been pretty good about staying under 1500 calories per day. But not exercising much. So I've been told to try and stay around 1300 calories per day and get 30 minutes of exercise each day. 2 days down and I'm doing it. But I am hungry. I'm only at 4.5 cc's right now (in a 10cc band) and they're only adding 1 cc each fill now. I have good satiety, but still no really noticable swallowing restrictions. Occassionally chicken gets stuck if it's too try and I can tell right away I cannot swallow beef or pork. Period. So I'm eating well with lots of fish and chicken. Mmmm. And it's odd, I was worried I would 'miss' beef and pork. But the moment I put it in my mouth I feel a great aversion to it because of it's texture. So yipee, no food mourning there.

But even with the lap-band 1300 calories a day tends to leave me hungry. However the 'hunger' is different. It's manageable and ignorable. Before the band it was torture ... it was like there was no 'in-between'. It was either not hungry, or starving. There was no "meh, I could eat or not". Now I understand that feeling (finally!). It makes eating less calories much more do-able. Without that angry, hungry, desperate feeling hanging around each corner.

I'm hoping and praying that with the exercise (albeit moderate) and the 1300 calorie diet I will drop a pile of weight before my next fill and actually begin to feel like I'm accomplishing something. I'm still happy with the lap band and the procedure, but driving 3 hours to Edmonton to get a 5 minute fill, then turning around and coming home again really sucks. But it's a day alone that I can enjoy and I have lunch with friends every time I'm up there so that's nice.

So let's see... I guess I haven't really been 'working the band'. I had hoped it would do more for me 'automatically'. But it really is true: you only get out of it what you put into it. And I hadn't been giving 100%. I'd been eating less, but not really 'dieting' properly. So here I climb back onto the band wagon... with witnesses no less. And I shall attempt to blog more often dear readers! Thanks for missing me!!

First fill!

Well, it's like the Weight Wise crew is just out to surprise me and leave me in the dark all the time. I went up for the 'surgeon consult', which I thought was to see my healing progress. Instead it was for my first fill - 3 weeks after the surgery. Never heard of that before. And they want to give me another one in 3 more weeks. Wow. So I got 2 cc's today and don't know how many more I'll get next time. Maybe 1 cc more.

I was surprised for the fill today, and I still don't know how many calories I'm supposed to have per day right now. But I know I wasn't having enough protein, I've been struggling to get in 50 grams of protein in 1000 calories. I'm supposed to get 66-80 grams of protein - so I guess I'm should be having more like 1200 calories per day. That should allow me to get in the extra protein.

And, in 20 days I'm down 14 lbs. Hope that slows down soon cause that's nuts.

Food ideas and the psychology of "less"

Well, I'm a little surprised at myself... I'm having a little bit of trouble with how little food I'm eating. Not physically, just psychologically. 1/2 cup of food is a scarce, wee little bit. After I eat it, I feel full, but honestly... it's such a tiny amount!! It used to be a huge salad with a little meat and cheese with dressing and loads of veggies to fill me up. Maybe 4-6 cups of leafy food if I was really hungry. Chewed all up... at least 2 cups still I'd bet. Now a minuscule can of lite tuna and 4 crackers and I'm full. I don't even have the band filled yet. Wow.

I am, however, feeling hunger a little bit again now. But I console myself with the knowledge that there's nothing in the band yet and that it will change when I get my first fill. My incisions are all healing very nicely and I've been doing a funny little pre-bedtime routine where I open a vitamin E capsule and rub it on the incisions then wrap myself in plastic wrap. Silly, I know, but otherwise it would get on the sheets. It absorbs very slowly and it seems to be making a big difference. 3 of the 5 incisions are completely healed now. There's some scar tissue beneath them that I can feel (especially the highest one that sometimes gets squished by my underwire... HELLO!!! That gets my attention!!

So I'm looking for food ideas. I'm still a real foodie... but I just eat less of it so taste and quality are becoming high priorities. I just had a small tin of lite tuna with mayo style dressing (110 calories, 18 g of protein - wow!) with 4 Triscuit whole wheat crackers with olive oil and rosemary - yummy - but 80 calories? really? come on!! Not much food, but I feel satisfied and it way way tasty which helps (well, I'm not 'full', I don't feel 'full' anymore, it's more like not hungry than it is like being full). That will last me 2 hours with a nice glass of water in between the next meal/snack. And no real hunger for a few hours either. It's kinda odd.

So some suggestions for yummy small foods... some readers must be post-op, so spill the beans... what are your favorites?! (And don't say beans... those are NOT my favorite). :o)

Down, down, down we go!!

Well, I lost 5 more lbs this week. Not surprizing as my caloric average was 936 per day. I hovered right around there mostly and I'm getting more consistent with this amount. Starting to switch over to more solid foods, but I'm finding that the dairy is not agreeing with me (no surprises there), so I'm going to see about having more fish and adding fibre when I do eat dairy. So I'm down 18 lbs since the surgery date. Good for me. I'm happy with the results so far!

976 Calories!! Yipee!

I did it, I reached the minimum 900 calories today. However, I did cheat a little, I had a huge glass of cranberry juice with dinner at the pub (which was a lot of 'empty' calories), but still, I got there. And I had over 45 grams of protien too. I still don't know what I'm supposed to be aiming for, I've heard up to 60 grams when I'm eating properly again, but I haven't heard that from my dietitian... have to look into that. Not sure where I'm supposed to be targetting, but I'm feeling better and getting 900-1000 calories a day on a liquid diet (with no 'empty' drink calories). Good job self!!

Gas!!!

Oh my word I'm gassy. I think maybe my stomach is making too much acid and gas compared to how much I'm eating. And, although I don't feel hunger anymore I used to get gas when I was too hungry for too long before the band went in, so I would think that this gas is a result of only eating 800 calories per day during the liquid 'healing' phase. I likely AM very hungry but cannot feel it anymore, so the result is the same gas as if I'd skipped being hungry over and over. Solution? Not sure: maybe I just need to keep on track of eating meals at regular intervals so I'm not getting too hungry (which I wouldn't feel anyhow). So complicated!

Reading on several LapBand forums, I see that this is a common problem that comes and goes with many people with lap bands. And also a disturbing quote "it seems to me that for everyone that has a lap band and is happy there are 2 who are not". Oh dear, that's not good. But this is coming from someone who is getting their band out after repeated slippage and horrendous gas problems for years. No thanks!! Hope that's not me!

Feeling Much Better

Hello all! I wanted to let you know, the worst of it is over. I'm feeling much better now. Still a bit of gas, but it doesn't hurt much. And the only time I really, really hurt is when I sneeze or cough (and the only thing about it that hurts is the incision over the port, no surprises there). My insides are pretty much back to normal.

I'm supposed to be aiming for 900-1000 calories per day, and I think today I might get there. I've been adding about 100 calories per day from a low of 500 calories in the first few days. I just figured out yesterday that I should stop drinking stupid juice (no protein and low calories) and drink soy milk (mmmmm... chocolate soy milk is really not that bad). 3 g of protein per 1/2 cup and only 75 calories. Not too bad.

I honestly can't believe that, however temporarily, I'm actually struggling to eat enough. That is amazing to me. Although I haven't had any fill done, the swelling approximates the feeling of not being hungry (ever) and of being able to eat very little. If I take my vitamins and 1/2 cup of yogurt I feel like I've eaten a Thanksgiving dinner! FULL!!

I realize there will be ups and down and that I will not have my band at the 'ideal' fill amount for many more months (by March-ish, evidently) so I'm not too too excited yet. But so far I'm down 13 lbs since the operation because I'm eating so little. I'm not worried, nor impressed. It might come back before my first fill on December 16 and I'm prepared for it. I'll still be disappointed, but I realize that I'm on a honeymoon right now.

I still have some pain when my stomach muscles tighten to move food through, but it's come to be just unpleasant and quite bearable. I notice it most when I take my vitamins because I have to half them and the edges are sharp so I can feel them go all the way down and feel them when they pass through the port. Perhaps I'll try to find a pill crusher one of these days. Although what I'll put them in as food I don't know. They taste horrible as-is, I can't imagine eating them as food. Blah!

So, lets see... the worst part of the surgery is over in less than a week. I had none of the shoulder pain from the gas expansion, but I had massive pain from constipation and gas - which I should have expected because I always get this when I 'go under' anesthesia. All in all, it was no worse really than a root canal. If I hadn't had that reaction to the anesthesia it would have been a much easier experience. So it was quite reasonable. And now I know I'm on a journey that will be different from the rest of my life (if I use it properly). I'm pretty excited!

Thanks for all your posts my friends, I appreciate the support. If you have any questions about my surgery experience, please feel absolutely free to ask!

The deed is done!

I had my lap-band put in on Tuesday at 1 pm and was discharged at 10 am on Wed. It was too soon. I hadn't had any bowel activity and ended up back in the hospital this morning at 1 am. Incredible bowel pain, but an enima and some meds to calm the bowels helped, followed by rounds of laxatives. I should have known better my dears, I always react this way to morphine and anesthesia. But it's been so long since I've had any of that I forgot!

So long story short, now I'm just dealing with the stomach pain of gas and the incisions. I should post up a picture pretty soon I guess, get my hubby to take the photo when I get home. I've been staying with some wonderful friends who have been caring for me and running me back to the hospital at horrid hours of the morning. Wow they've been great. Better than family almost!

How do you thank people who have been so careful with your person or your loved ones. It's hard to do!

So I'm trying to get down a decent amount of water and some puddings, etc. They don't start you on all liquids at this place, just all soft foods like pudding, apple sauce, etc. And your supposed to get 900-1000 calories in per day. There is NO WAY I'm doing that right now, but I'm pretty sore and crampy. Gonna have to call about the gas, everything I drink or eat results in loads of painful, rumbling gas. It sucks. Could just be the 'system restart'. I think I'll do a round of BioK Plus this week and hope it helps reflora my intestines. The gas should go away once the good flora comes back.

I'm not following the diet very well yet, I'm trying but I'm so sore. It sucks. The bowel problems were excruciating, so I'm only just getting beyond that pain. The pain from the surgery is not that bad really. The incisions tend to pull a bit because my stomach is so swollen and fat-ladened, but it's not uncomfortable. I don't have any stitches, just 'steri-strips' which supposedly come off on their own in 8-10 days. And a good friend of mine is a nurse so she'll be keeping an eye on me no-doubt. All in all, the surgery experience was fine. The bowel stuff... well WARNINGS TO ALL FOR LAP-BANDS: Take in loads of fibre in the days before hand and seriously consider having a full colonic enima done to empty out your entire lower intestine. I SO wish I had done this. Wish I could have shown ya'll the x-ray. It was a mess... poop from one end to the other all back-logged and stoney. Ugh. But now the gas is moving through much better and hopefully my system has restarted enough to clear out.

So there you go all, a looooong winded update. I'll have to post as I go along. But I keep in mind what so many with the lap-band have said 'I just wish I'd gotten it sooner'. Well, I'm sore, but I'm proud of myself and so far I'm glad I've done it. The pain is manageable and I can rest for a while. I'm looking forward to the changes to come in the weeks ahead. I'll try to keep in touch! Thanks to all for your support!!

Butterflies

I've got butterflies! I'm nervous about the surgery... well actually, I'm nervous about everything that comes after the surgery, not the actual surgery. I'm gonna have to say goodbye to a lot of my friends ... donuts, icecream, etc. life goes on. But I'm not too worried, just nervous. I guess I'll live.

WOW!!! I finally got "the call"!!

I finally got "the call" and it was surprised how quickly they are scheduling me... I now only have 2 weeks to be nervous (which I am). They called yesterday (Oct 20) to tell me my surgery is booked for Nov 4th. WOW!! I was all jitters and nerves for the rest of the day. I know this is what I've been working for, but to see it within reach is kinda scary!

I'm sure any of you who have been through this know exactly what it feels like.... hurray - they've scheduled it finally... yikes - it's so close! So I'm looking forward to it, but I'm nervous too.

Going in to see the dietitian and for a 'nutrition seminar' this Thursday (the 23) and my weight is still 'stuck' at 237... down 3 lbs (I was up to 240). So I'm pretty happy with my maintenance, but I'm ready to start moving down again. Sounds like it will take some time for the weight loss to happen though, as the band starts out empty and the fills are at least 1 month apart, so it will take a while to hit the 'sweat spot' that lets me lose consistently.

This morning my plantars fasciitis flaired up a little, reminding me of one of the million reasons I wanted this. My herniated disc is bothering me too... another one of those symptoms that pushed me towards this plan of action. At this point weight loss is the only 'treatment' available for the problems. So I look forward to a reduction in pain soon.

WOW. I just still can't believe it. 2 weeks. Wow. And because I have no co-morbidities I can have the pre-op exam and tests done the day before. Wow, wow, wow. I must remember to breath!!

Cruise Control Still

Hello all

I'm still on cruise control... not going up, not going down. Did go up to Edmonton for the 'final' surgeon consult. After being forgotten in the waiting room, sent away to come back and find I missed the surgeon (because they had me come back too late - I was only gone for 20 minutes), then I saw not my surgeon, but some other surgeons. Bah! I did get to sign my release forms for the surgery and have my file sent off to central booking. So I should hear soon when I'm scheduled for surgery. That's good, but it was all annoying and anti-climatic again.

Well... the next trip to Edmonton will be for my surgery pre-check (xrays, bloodwork, etc) and the next trip after that will be for surgery! The surgeon indicated that it will take 2-3 months and that I should be all done by the end of the year! Okay... I will say it: YIPEE!!

A great Christmas present and a crappy one too I suppose - Christmas with no food... hmmmm... better get used to it anyhow eh?!

Interesting...

Well, I had another dietitian appt and she said the most interesting thing: that she's very proud of me and happy that I haven't regained... that this is the most important issue first and foremost. Not even losing more weight, just that I haven't regained is a good thing. I honestly hadn't thought of that before. The focus is always on losing more and more and more... cause it's work that's never done. But she's right! By now, 10x over I'd have regained the weight plus 10-20 more pounds and this time I haven't done that! So yipee for me, and here's to a new outlook: winning can mean just not regaining. :o)

Thanks friends!

Thank you my friends, your comments were kind. We all are the hardest on ourselves. I think I will wait for the full weight loss before I get the surgery. But it's gonna suck cause I am an exhibitionist, so people will definately see me naked throught the whole process. Bah!!

My 'Apron'

Okay, 35 lbs or so ain't a lot to lose. But it's made a big difference in how my body looks and I'm unhappy with it. My boobs sag already... what's another 50+ pounds down gonna leave me with? Flapjacks? LOL!!

But my biggest issue is my 'apron'. I hate it. And as it gets emptier it sags down further. It looks awful and I don't know what to do. If I was totally honest I'd have to say that looking at it caused me to regain the last time I got down to 200lbs. It looked the same as it does now, only then I lost 40lbs. I shudder to think what it's gonna look like when I get back down to 200 lbs again. Ugh.

So I'm wondering if I should get it fixed now (tummy tuck) and then again later. It bothers me so. But that seems so vain... I know, I could wait it out, get it all done at once (tummy tuck and boob job when all the weight is gone), but you have to realize, I hate seeing it and live with it every day. A good corset or slimming panties does a good job of it (it's just soft skin after all), but it bugs me!!!

What do you think readers? And re: the photo, yes: I know I'm naked, yes: I know I'm outside, yes: I'm an exhibitionist - so don't write to tell me what I already know! LOL! I love my body and mind and I'm proud of what I've done to date. But this apron is my nemesis!

BAH! Still stuck

Hello friends... I'm still stuck. Size 18, weight 230. WTF? Pardon my french. I can't seem to stay focused for more than a few days at a time. I guess I've hit that wall or something. I'm not unhappy with myself... but part of it is that 'apron' that's shown up with a vengance. And I just know the more I lose the worse it's gonna look. I don't like it now... it's just going to get longer with less to fill it up. Almost want to get a tummy tuck now and another one later, just so I can feel good naked again. Grrrr.

GOOD NEWS though too! Went to Edmonton for my gastro mobility test and passed with flying colors. The tech said she didn't see the same results as the bariatric swallow, just a general slowing of the closure of the stomach sphyncter (and many people have this problem). Last test is the gastrocopy (camera down the esophegus), not so bad, I'll live. Then 2 weeks later is my second surgeon meeting and I'm assumig that's when all the tests are in and the paperwork is done and I get an actual surgery date. WOW!

That'll be 2.5 years since request for a referral. Not too bad, and I saved myself about $30,000 by going through Alberta Health Care and all their miriade of hoops! It wouldn't have been so bad, except that the surgeon is in Edmonton (3 hour drive) which added to the cost and annoyance. But it's been a good experience all-in-all and I'm hoping for a 'all lights green' meeting after the gastroscopy. ;o) Gross your fingers and toes people, please!!

Blah... no motivation

I'm way under motivated these days. I get on the diet for a few days, then slid off and don't even care. Not gaining, not losing. I'm really enjoying size 18 and I'm proud of myself... I keep saying to myself "If you're pleased now, think how you'll feel at size 16, or 14!!", but it's not working.

However, I am going to start working with a buddy... my BFF and sister-in-law. She's got a bum knee and has been told to get her butt back into the gym. 3 times a week and she wants to lose 60lbs. She wants me to teach her how to do my diet and then we'll keep each other accountable and work out together. Sounds good in theory. One thing that will help is that I haven't been spending much time with her and I miss her, this will give me 2 hours every other day to spend with her and that will ROCK!

So I'm hoping that will be the catalyst I need for the next 30 lbs. I'm still hoping for the Lap-Band, but it's taking forever and I'm worried that my lack of losing will somehow make me get kicked out of the line. I'm such a bad girl, I feel guilty, but it's not motivating me. Any ideas girls?

Cruising along...

Been doing very well on my diet this week. Hitting 1400 consistantly, except yesterday. As usual, my period has me starving for at least one day. And I swear, I could eat 25,000 calories that day and still be hungry. I settled for 1800 worth of all good foods, but just too many meals to work out right.

I'm curious why that is... what purpose that would serve. I could see being more hungry when you're ovulating, in preparation for pregnancy perhaps. But during your period? What the heck? Is it to replace lost iron and minerals? Is it just a side-effect of hormones? I'll have to look that up I guess! Any ideas?

Bad Girl

I've been off my diet, lazy and unfocused. Gained 3 pounds. But got back on the band wagon yesterday, will stay on it now until my next appt. I'm really enjoying being a size 18. WOW! I can order clothes online in XL and they fit! NICE!!

Sorry I'm not posting much, it's summer and I'm so busy!

Slowing of the swallow mechanism

An update: My last appt was on May 26th (in Edmonton, again) and it was to review my physical tests (barium x-ray and sleep apnea tests). The Dr. said I show no signs of sleep apnea, but show a slowing of my swallowing mechanism in my lower esophagus called Esophageal Dysphagia.

Guess it's a big deal, cause now I have to go back for another 2 tests to look at this issue and 'prove' that it's not going to be a problem (he said I would defiantly NOT enjoy either of these tests). As the Lap-Band also slows down the swallowing process, if you've got a serious problem with it then the lap-band may make it so slow you can't swallow anything at all. Not good.

This makes me nervous and frustrated. What if it makes it impossible for me to get a lap-band? That will majorly SUCK. After all this time and effort to get a 'yes' then it becomes a 'no' because of this problem. And the appt for the endoscopy is now set for August.

Looks like no lap-band this year either at this rate. I'm annoyed.

By the time I finally get approved I'll have lost all the weight. Then will they still do it to help me maintain the loss? Probably not.

So I'll regain at some point, which is almost a given, and start the whole process over? Or pay for it privately? Where do I go from here?

Maybe it was that super-cute x-ray tech's fault. Maybe he made me too nervous. LOL!!