Onward and upward

Well, I should really be getting back to my diet immediately. Why is that so hard to do? Part of it, for me anyhow, is the time commitment to record everything. It seems so small, but it takes a mental commitment and consistent awareness of everything to do it properly. These days I'm using a lot of energy to keep ahead of my corporate matters. It's just another excuse though, I know.

I feel pressure because I'm going up to Edmonton in Feb and want to be able to have lost more weight by then. At least I didn't gain after Christmas. But I keep playing the numbers games in my head... last time I was there was December, uh, 15th? So it will be about 10 weeks since my last visit. So if I was losing properly, I should have lost another 20 lbs by now. I haven't lost any. So I feel guilty. I lost 25lbs over the course of last year. I should be proud of myself. But I'm not anymore. I feel like I should be able to keep losing.

Then I remember, I already KNOW I cannot do this alone. So why am I beating myself up over it? Like it's a surprise?! LOL. Besides, beating myself up isn't going to help, that's for sure. So what do I do? I guess I need to just work on it slowly and try to get back to it. Thing is it's an all or nothing sort of thing... ugh. Bah... it's like a New Year's resolution, MAN I HATE THOSE!!